Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
