Walk of Shame. In a state park.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
