I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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