new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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