i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
she pinky promised me she was 18
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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