i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I checked into jail on foursquare
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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