the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
