I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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