Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
