I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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