I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
