Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
