she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
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he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
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It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
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