Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I AM VODKA MAN
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
