her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
