He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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