i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
