How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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