I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize