sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
