That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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