one word: firstdatebathroomanal
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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