Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
