I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
