it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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