Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
