I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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