It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
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It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
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