nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
