Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
