This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize