they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I wish i was in the wii world.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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