You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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