Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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