Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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