Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
As shirtless as possible
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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