why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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