Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize