i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
