You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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