he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Randomize
