When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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