Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
