im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
