god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You can't just leave with hair like that
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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