It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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