dude i'm inner monologue high
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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