remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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