I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
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It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
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I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
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