mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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