Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
