dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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