erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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