I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
We just shotgunned beers for America
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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