Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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