He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
