I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
