By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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