shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Pants 0. Shit 1.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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