Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
