i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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