Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
